


It's All Worth It In The End, If I Can Have You

by CorranBlue



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Fox Gets A Nap, Gay, Gay Rights, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, Married Couple, No Beta We Die Like Clones, Post-Order 66, Rare Pairings, Reunion, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:00:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24382459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CorranBlue/pseuds/CorranBlue
Summary: When Order 66 is called, Fox's mind is no longer his own. CC-1010 forces him to do things, terrible things. Like kill his own husband. This is a fix-it, kind of. It has a happy ending, and Fox gets his nap.
Relationships: CC-1010 | Fox & Quinlan Vos, CC-1010 | Fox/Quinlan Vos
Comments: 21
Kudos: 179





	It's All Worth It In The End, If I Can Have You

**Author's Note:**

> Right! So I did not edit this at all! I did not reread it! But I have been sitting on it for a while, so here *tosses you a fic* . I hope you enjoy!  
> PS these guys might seem really out of character, but, well, I Tried

Fox is in his office, but it’s not him in control. CC-1010 is controlling his body, making him do things. CC-1010 was the one who shot at the Jedi who was always...always there. 

CC-1010 was the one who snarled “Don’t call me that, I’m CC-1010, a name is a defect. And you, you’re a traitor. Scum. I’m  _ glad _ the order was given. You  _ deserve  _ this.” 

CC-1010 was the one who caused the heartbreak to shine so clearly through the eyes of Quinlan Vos, but Fox was the one who noticed. Fox was the one who looked on with a despairing soul as Quinlan first took a step back as if in shock, then shook his head to reach out, barely touching his shoulder before being shot directly in the chest by a steady hand. 

Fox looked on, screaming and pounding against the cage he was trapped in, trying desperately to stop whatever was happening, trying to reach his  _ riduur _ , to tell him this wasn’t him. Fox felt his mind splinter as CC-1010 walked away from the dying man, already looking to the next mission. 

It had been, well, Fox didn’t know how long. His life was now an endless cycle of slavery within his own mind. He had managed to hold on to his name, the memory of a golden stripe and a lazy voice. Everything else was gone. All Fox knew was the continual pain of being cut off from himself. He retreated to a dark place in his mind, blocking everything else out and focusing on what few good things he could remember. 

  
As CC-1010 fired his weapon over and over, Fox closed his eyes and thought about the sun. As CC-1010 sat down to do paperwork, Fox recalled a familiar presence, though he was a great irritant at first. As CC-1010 the imposter lived his life, Fox grappled desperately to hold on to his past. 

  
Eventually it all became too much. The longer CC-1010 was in charge, the more command he had of both Fox’s body and his mind. All the repressing Fox had done was now working against him, he had pushed his memories so far down it was impossible to bring them up again to help him now. 

  
CC-1010 was starting to use his mind as a weapon against Fox.  _ Remember this?  _ He’d think, and bring up pictures of shooting Fives.  _ We’re not so different, you and I.  _

_   
_ _ No!  _ Fox would yell.  _ No, it was set to stun! I would  _ never  _ hurt a brother.  _

_   
_ _ What about a sister?  _ CC-1010 was devious.  _ You imprisoned Commander Tano, the little Jedi you  _ knew _ was adored by so many of your ‘brothers.’  _

_   
_ _ That’s, that was different! She committed a crime, she-we couldn’t just let her go! _

  
Again and again CC-1010 reminded Fox of their similarities.  _ After all, good soldiers follow orders. And who is a better soldier than us?  _

  
The mental tennis was wearing Fox out. He hated thinking about emotions for too long, he usually avoided the hell out of it. Now he was realizing that had come at a cost. If he ever managed to escape this, he would track down whatever brothers were left and tell them how much they meant to him. 

  
It was on one of the sunny days Fox used to love so much that it happened. He was on a rare solo mission, tasked with finding and destroying a compromised asset. Fox knew this meant an assassination, he hoped that whoever the target was would be long gone before he could-no.    
  
Before CC-1010 could end them. 

_   
_ _ Just like that  _ traitor  _ you seemed to like so much. What was his name again? _

_  
__Don’t you dare!_ Fox screamed in his mind. _Don’t you_ dare _talk about my riduur,_ _you killed him!_

_   
_ _ Ah ah ah.  _ CC-1010 took on a chiding tone. We  _ killed him. You were there too. This will be no different. Now be a good boy and stay quiet for us. We have orders to follow.  _

_   
_ _ There is no  _ we  _ here.  _ Fox growled, but the protest was sounding weaker with each day that passed.  _ You are an unwelcome guest in my head.  _

  
The sound of a blaster being drawn pulled them out of their bickering but before either could react, white pain raced across their nerves. As if through a fog, Fox heard himself thinking  _ thank god it’s over now.  _

  
He only hoped that Quinlan would be there to march away with him. 

  
-

  
The first thing he became aware of was the intense light shining down on him. Even through closed eyes it was painful. The second thing he noticed was pain everywhere. Fox let out an animalistic cry, all of his pain compounded in a single burst. Who knew how long CC-1010 would let him talk for? He had to…

  
CC-1010. Fox couldn’t feel him in his mind anymore. That realization was enough to make him fling his eyes open in shock. 

  
“What?” He croaked out. “What?”

  
Looking around he realized the bright light was really a candle, and his armour was gone. He saw that he was laying on the ground covered by a blanket. There were no machines like one would find in the med bays of the Empire. There was just Fox, a candle, a blanket, and a bowl of water. He seemed to be in a cave of some sort, though he didn’t think Coruscant had any caves.    
  
He must be trapped, or imprisoned on another world. 

  
He forced his body to grab the water, more clumsy than he’d like to admit after years of not being in control. He spilled more water than he drank, but the sheer bliss of being able to move again sang through his veins. Fox was free, he could-

  
A woman moved into the cave, but still Fox could see no entrance.  _ A mind trick?  _ He wondered, and waited. No way was he making the first move here. 

  
“Do you know who you are?” A gentle voice washed over him, cooling his frayed nerves and bringing a sense of calm. But Fox being Fox, he responded in the only way he knew. 

  
“What’s it to you?” Internally he winced. This woman was clearly a Jedi, based on her robes and mind tricks. He wouldn’t get far with her being the same old obstinate brick he-

  
Laughter bubbled from her chest, filling the space around them with joy. “Oh, you have no idea how missed you have been. They are waiting, whenever you are ready, Fox.”

Fox stared dumbfoundedly at the strange jetii woman.  _ What is going on _ ?

“I will admit, it took us longer than we’d have liked to get you out. Three years is a long time to be trapped.” What?  _ Three years _ ? “Your mind, everything that happened to you...I am so, so sorry that you had to go through such an experience,” The woman looked deep into his eyes, and Fox found he couldn’t look away from the sincerity shining through. 

“I hope it can bring you some measure of comfort to know that it can never happen again. We removed the chip for you.”

“The chip? It was that damn chip that made me-” Fox choked on his words. All he could think about, all he could  _ see _ was pointing the gun at Fives and firing. “Fives was right.”

The woman gave him a sad, knowing smile. “He was. It’s our great failure, to have ignored it completely and have failed your brothers, and you.” She shook her head slowly and gestured again. “Now, they  _ are  _ waiting, whenever you’re ready.”

“Who?” Fox could barely concentrate on the moment. CC-1010 has been so...effective in his fight against Fox. After years of seeing Fives die at his hand multiple times throughout the day, Fox couldn’t help picturing the scene again and again. His mind was his own again, and yet…

“You’ll see soon enough.” She bent over to help him stand. “Let’s go.”

The pair slowly made their way across the space toward an empty wall. Fox watched the jetii take a deep breath, and before Fox could blink the wall was replaced by a long passageway leading who knew where. 

After a long walk they made it to a single door. She turned to face him, and he found his heart stuttering. “Are you ready?”

“Would I ever be?” All The sting was gone from his voice, making him sound like a scared young cadet again, desperate for the comfort of his  _ buir _ . 

“No, I think not.” And with that, she opened the door to reveal a dead man. There on the other side of the mysterious door was Quinlan Vos. Fox’s friend, his  _ riduur _ , his  _ cyare _ . 

The man he murdered two and a half years ago. 

“Foxy?” Quinlan’s face broke out in a toothy grin, his gold stripe wrinkling in the way Fox used to adore. His face shifted to a more concerned look as Fox tipped sideways. “Hey, Fox!”

Quinlan raced over to his side and caught him as he slowly sunk to the ground. Quinlan guided them down gently, his hands burning holes in Fox’s blacks before shifting up to burn his face instead. 

“Fox, hey! WHat’s wrong, you have to talk to me, you need to talk to me!” Quinlan’s voice grew in pitch and panic. “Fox, Fox!”

Fox tried to speak, he really did. But all he could think was  _ alive, he’s alive _ , and  _ I didn’t kill him _ . 

He wanted to reassure his partner, if Fox could still call him that. He didn’t  _ want _ Quinlan to panic, but he couldn’t make himself say anything. His control on his mind was still sloppy from so many years being suppressed by the one in control. His iron grasp on his emotions was gone, and tears flooded down his face. 

“Fox, you’re freaking me out man. Don’t make me use the Force to-” He added on in a semi-joking voice, but cut off as Fox moved a hand up to gently rest on his cheek. “Hey, I’m right here. I’m right here.”

Fox closed his eyes and let his emotions flow out into the space around him. Sure, Quinlan had been joking earlier, but Fox knew he would have had a hard time reading Fox with all the pent up... _ everything _ from his time in the Empire. 

He was feeling overwhelmed, sure. Scared, maybe a little. But the most intense feeling pulsing from him was relief. And love, so much love. He had his eyes closed, but he could imagine the look on Quinlan’s face. The few times he had taken down his walls around the Jedi, everything was calm and ordered. This was, not like him to say the least. 

He felt Quinlan pull him closer, and before Fox could try and shift away he was sitting in Quinlan’s lap, chest to chest with him.

“Fox, you’re okay. I’ve got you. And I’m not planning on letting you go so easy.” Fox let out a wet chuckle and blindly shoved his head in Quinlan’s neck. He held on for dear life as Quinlan gently rocked him through his tears. 

After hours, or maybe minutes, Fox’s tears halted, his eyes opened. Although he could barely see through his puffy lips, he knew the face of his husband. And he knew  _ exactly  _ what the man was thinking. 

“Well go ahead then.” Quinlan’s arms wrapped tighter around Fox and tucked him closer before he leaned in slowly, giving Fox plenty of time to adjust. 

When their lips met, Fox found he had a few more tears left to give. 

“I didn’t kill you.” He whispered against Quinlan’s lips when they broke apart. “All those years, I thought I-”

“It wasn’t you, Foxy. That wasn’t you.” Quinlan pushed his nose into Fox’s hair and pressed his lips against his forehead. “You would never.”

The last sentence, spoken like true, simple fact broke down the last of Fox’s walls. 

“He, he was in my head. All the time. He was in charge, controlling what I did, what I said. What I thought.” His voice was barely a whisper now. “He kept telling me we were the same, every day he told me. I didn’t know what was happening.”

Quinlan made a wordless murmur of comfort and rocked them slightly. “Quinlan, I-I tried to fight him. I  _ did _ , but I couldn’t win. I’m so happy you’re okay, you’re alive.” He took in a shuddering breath. “You’re  _ alive _ and you found me.”

“I’m sorry it took so long, I wish I was a thousand years sooner.”

“Stop that.” Fox slapped his chest and felt the stirrings of oh-so-familiar annoyance at his spouse. “You are never allowed to apologize for anything, ever again.”

“Oh is that a challenge?” There was a glint in Quinlan’s eyes as he scoured Fox’s face. “Because, that’s almost a free pass forever.”

“I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“Me too, Vixen. Me too.”

Fox looked around and noticed the others had disappeared. The two were alone in the room.

“So...what do say we take a nap?” Fox grinned at the pout on his  _ riduur’s  _ face. “Life as a prisoner doesn’t exactly give you much time to relax for sleep.”

“Whatever you want,  _ cyare _ .” Fox’s resolve almost cracked at the sound of his language drawled out in that lovely voice. But he really  _ was  _ exhausted. 

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaaaah you made it to the end! Did you like it? I hope so...please feel free to point out any inconsistencies or errors! Also, come say hi on tumblr! If you like that sort of thing!


End file.
